Following on from last week's devastating floods, it's been reported in the news that "kids" have been pissing in the "bowsers". (Not a sentence I would have ever expected to type a month ago).

These containers of water that are providing a lifeline to families are seen as yet another target for our growing legions of disaffected ASBO youth. So, what do are we going to do about it? In our increasingly left wing country, discipline is failing because there is no discipline. As they piss into our water supplies, what have these kids got to fear? A severe telling off? No. That would be demeaning and probably undermine their human rights. A tap on the wrist? No. That's common assault. What about a more humane approach. A hug to provide some much needed affection that they may be lacking from their parents? No. That would mean joining the queue on the sex register, you paedo. Maybe we could go round to their houses and piss on them in their sleep? Then that's breaking and entering, indecent exposure and it's back on the paedo files. Involve the parents. That's it. That's sure to work. If you can find them. They're so pissed or busy with their own lives, why should they give a shit what their kids are up to. Their parents didn't care about them, so why should they care about their own kids. History repeats itself. Deal with it. So, other than getting up there with them and pissing into your own water supplies, it appears there's not much you can do.

Maybe it's not all bad. There are people that drink urine for health reasons, arguing that the minerals excreted by the body can be re-absorbed. So maybe these kids are doing you a favour. Go on, drink up and feel the golden glow of teenage minerals coursing through you, giving you the energy you need to clear the sewage soaked carpets from your houses and rebuild your ruined lives.