Another Comic Relief is finally over. £40 million to buy flowers and grapes for the starving AIDS children. Sorry all you pensioners who can't afford your winter heating bills. You're just not cute enough for a share of the spoils. If only you were younger with big, woeful eyes. If only you were failed by a country in chaos. If only you were victims of a greedy dictatorship, thinly veiled as a democracy. Hang on a minute...